Take your time, thedog, to digest what you've experienced here so far.
In real life, when dealing with people face-to-face, we can read them as a whole (not truly possible here). No matter their words and however expressed, we tend to read either good or ill into what they have said.
While some points made here may be valid in this or that circumstance, to make blanket assertions that cast doubt upon one's intentions and motivation shows bias. So what if one remains an elder because, for the time being, one feels this is what one must do? Is it necessary to berate that person for pursuing what he deems the correct path at this particular time? His conscience is not your conscience.
'I do not agree with what you say, but I will give my life to defend your right to say it.'
CC